Hot Fried Non-Nudist Peanuts

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Total Time
17mins
Prep
15 mins
Cook
2 mins

You'll never find these wee buggers in the munchies aisle of your favourite supermarket!

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Ingredients

Nutrition
  • 12 lb non-nudist peanuts (you know, the kind with their clothes still on!)
  • sea salt, finely ground,to taste
  • cayenne pepper, ground,to taste
  • 1 cinnamon stick, optional
  • 6 whole cloves (optional)
  • oil (for deep frying, NOT peanut oil – they don’t like being cooked in their own kind!)

Directions

  1. Take off the peanuts’ clothes – do this after the kids have gone to bed so that they are not aware of any indecent behaviour in your house.
  2. Throw their clothes in the trash – they won’t ever be needing them again.
  3. Deep-fry the now-naked nuts, for only a minute or two, in a wire basket in oil that’s as hot as a Chinese fire-cracker on the 4th of July.
  4. Drain the now-not-so-naked but badly-sunburned nuts for just a few seconds in the wire basket – don’t be a woos and use anything absorbent for this purpose.
  5. While they are still very warm and oily, sprinkle them with sea salt and cayenne pepper, and shake them up so that they all get coated.
  6. Store them in sterile or very clean glass jars with tight-fitting lids.
  7. Optional – pop a stick of cinnamon or a few whole cloves in each jar.
  8. Optional – fool your family and/or guests by putting them in an empty Planter’s (or other brand) peanuts jar that is labelled “Honey-roasted” and then watch their faces as they munch on something that tastes nothing like what they expected!
  9. Serve with cocktails or ice-cold beer.